Crop circles now main cause of crop failure in European Union

May 27, 2018

Crop circle in Bedersdorf, Germany

The recent thousandfold rise in mysterious circles in corn fields has become the number one cause of farming losses in Europe, an EU report revealed today. The immediate cost of compensating farmers totals €18 billion, with more likely to be incurred through indirect costs later.

“We’re totally baffled!” exclaimed Agriculture Commissioner Cyder Dranker “They’ve started appearing all over the place lately, it’s as if the UFOs are using us as a landing field.”

Adding to the mystery, the most recent shapes are often non-circular, more closely resembling swastikas. Their frequency also seemed to increase sharply during a recent lunar eclipse.

“We have to admit it just makes no sense.” Dranker says, “What could explain all these things? Nazi flying saucers from the moon perhaps?”

Photo by Roger Zenner,  Creative Commons By-SA-2.0-Germany

2 Responses to “ Crop circles now main cause of crop failure in European Union ”

  1. [...] Crop circles now main cause of crop failure in European Union … [...]

  2. 4c3T on June 3, 2018 at 3:13 pm

    My best guess would be a spy-satellite equipped with some sort of laser, solar & ruby-based would be my first guess or something like that. My second guess would be to either keep us otherwise occupied or using the crop-fields as points of references since they’re highly visible from outer space. Maybe both scenarios applies which would make sense since they would need to keep ppl. interested in “what might be out there” in order to keep themselves financed.

    It’s what you don’t know what’s keeping them afloat, in the loop and making decisions for you, hording you towards their goals…

    But, this is just speculation, so: Kidding… Or not.



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