STFU Meets GTFO for the First Time
It is well remembered that since their establishment in 2009 to cope with the global financial crisis, both the Socialist Trade Force Union (STFU) and Global Trust of Financial Organisations (GTFO) have engaged in a ferocious fundamental battle over post-crisis economic foundations. As we all know from our economics 101 textbooks, GTFO believes in the supremacy of the capitalistic system while STFU, in a bold and revolutionary move, dissolved financial systems altogether and returned to the barter system. Miraculously, both systems seem to have worked perfectly in restoring economic stability in their member countries.
For years, the two economic blocks have fought a cold war style battle for world economic domination. Incidents such as the infamous “Green Land Incident” and the “Red Santa Incident” were all but everyday during the old days. The Green Land incident was when GTFO started provoking STFU by airdropping trillions of green international trade bills in several STFU members countries, covering vast areas of land. While the trade bills would have been a fortune in GTFO member countries, the residents of the areas in question were outraged because the paper used in the trade bills resembled their toilet paper. I can still remember them shouting things like “We want white toilet paper, not green!”. STFU of course retaliated with their own specialty – tangible goods. They airlifted those goods and dropped them in GTFO member countries, causing riots when people started fighting over the free commodities. Children fighting over cheap dolls and toys, men fighting over forged golf sticks, and women fighting over counterfeit fashion products. The chaos led to the tragedy now known as the Red Santa Incident.
But the past is the past, and we must go on. Just today, STFU chairman and GTFO director had an historical meeting. This marks the first time that both economic blocks agreed to meet each other’s representatives, albeit online. “We agreed to meet in an adult chatroom because this matter must be settled in a grown-up manner”, said a GTFO official.
However amidst the cheering and applause from many, a few radical groups staged demonstrations. They demanded segregation between STFU and GTFO. They believe that when STFU meets GTFO, it will spell disaster for the whole world. One of the demonstration participants remarked, “When STFU and GTFO meet, things turn ugly.” What will the future hold for us?
NEUTERS
