Archive for March, 2010

New space probe sends back best fuzzy pictures so far

March 29, 2018
By Kris
New space probe sends back best fuzzy pictures so far

The latest joint space mission by NASA and ESA has produced spectacularly unclear photographs of an obscure object somewhere in space. Speaking at a press event in Tahiti, the director of the Rorschach Project said “These are the most amazing indistinct images ever seen by human eyes. Their significance for all of mankind cannot...
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Transformers 6 to use Smell-O-Vision

March 29, 2018
By Kris

After the successful reintroduction of 3D to films in the early 2010s, the producers of the upcoming sixth Transformers film have announced it is to resurrect another B-movie era mainstay: scented films. The use of perfumes and smells in screenings goes back to the 1950s, and has regularly been reattempted since then. For example, acclaimed...
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Sale of alcohol banned in bars and pubs

March 29, 2018
By Kris

In a joint statement by the health ministers of the EU member states, sales of alcoholic beverages in bars, restaurants and pubs are to be outlawed from next year (2019) onwards. “We’ve seen how successful the smoking ban was in the 2000s, and now we want to continue that good work.” explained the EU Health...
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UFO sighting in Obersalzberg

March 29, 2018
By Kris
UFO sighting in Obersalzberg

Close-up cropped version of the Obersalzberg saucer photo The image that can be viewed above, sent to us by a reader, was taken in the vicinity of the village of Berchtesgaden in Bavaria, Germany. The area is best known as the location of Adolf Hitler’s beloved mountain residence, the Berghof, and for the...
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United States moves to income-based voting from 2020

March 29, 2018
By Kris
United States moves to income-based voting from 2020

The 2020 US Presidential Elections will see a radical new electoral system introduced, where people will receive multiple votes based upon their personal income. Although the details have not been officially unveiled, it is understood that those with average earnings will receive 10 votes, with additional votes available for higher earners and fewer for...
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Los Angeles police to tackle replicant problem

March 29, 2018
By Kris

Authorities in California are responding to pressure to tackle the rise in illegal activity by cloned beings. A dedicated unit, currently nicknamed “sword sprinters”, is being specially trained to hunt and deactivate such strays. Cloned workers first became popular in the early 2010s, but a rebellion led by a former Helium-3 miner forced authorities to...
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Sci-fi movie’s moon scenes “could not have been filmed on Earth”

March 5, 2018
By Kris
Sci-fi movie’s moon scenes “could not have been filmed on Earth”

by our space correspondent L.G. Mann The makers of the science-fiction comedy “Iron Sky” have remained tight-lipped over speculation about their production methods. A recently leaked out-take from the lunar base set of the film shows a cameraman tripping over a cable in a manner apparently inconsistent with terrestrial conditions. “He trips and it sends him flying,”...
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Twitter Essay Contest Winner!

March 5, 2018
By Kris

by our technology correspondent I. Tee After a year of breathless anticipation, Twitter has finally announced the results of its “Tweet of the Year” contest. The winner, 15-year-old Egbert Whiteknight of Horseheads, New York, wins a $25.00 iTunes gift card, an electroplated silver loving cup with his name engraved on it, and a $200.00 voucher...
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Tarantino to remake classic film “Surf Nazis Must Die”

March 5, 2018
By Kris

by our entertainment correspondent B. Kahuna Renowned arthouse director Quentin Tarantino has purchased the rights to the newly-acknowledged 1987 classic “Surf Nazis Must Die”. In a statement posted to his website, he said he wanted to make it “hotter, bloodier and Nazier”. The film was produced by Troma, a once widely-ridiculed studio which has since been...
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Economists Discover Source of Global Economic Woes

March 5, 2018
By Kris

by our financial correspondent Fidel Yar-Expenses Abdul Zimmerman, chief theorist of the Ayn Rand Thinktank Institution, gave a press conference today to announce the result of a 15 year study. “After consultation with market analysts from the world’s leading financial institutions, and a continuous fifteen-year simulation cycle on a global network of supercomputers, we here at...
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